A Precious health care bill


Starring Gabby Sidibe, Mo’Nique, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey
Directed by Lee Daniels

Pontificating on Antichrist


Starring Willem Dafoe, Charlotte Gainsbourg, a fox
Directed by Lars von Trier (Breaking the Waves, Dancer in the Dark, Dogville)

Mooresian filmic theory

Capitalism: A Love Story
A documentary by Michael Moore

Coming soon to a theater near you: The Polanski Petition

I’m not sure if there is some unwritten law that we film critics are legitimately supposed to critique only the reel output of filmmakers, not their real world shenanigans. But if there is such a decree, I’m about to violate it. I admit it. Not sure what kind of punishment I face for breaking this “directive,” but the … um … temptation was just too strong. (Although I don’t have the excuse of being drunk or on some mind-altering substance.)

Bright (movie) star

Bright Star

Starring Abbie Cornish, Ben Whishaw,
Paul Schneider
Directed by Jane Campion

Cloudy with a chance of deception

Have you heard this one? A couple walks into a community-based assistance office seeking advice on securing a mortgage without declaring income or filing income taxes because they engage in a profession that is exclusively paid for with cash. As some of the advisers work furtively with this situation so that the young couple can finally become homeowners, it’s clear that this is a pimp and his prostitute.

A district for a critic

District 9

Starring Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, David James, Vanessa Haywood, Mandla Gaduka
Directed by Neill Blomkamp

Canned films

The Goods:
Live Hard, Sell Hard

Starring Jeremy Piven, Ving Rhames,
James Brolin
Directed by Neal Brennan

Starring Hugh Dancy, Rose Byrne, Peter Gallagher, Amy Irving
Directed by Max Meyer

Taking Woodstock
Starring Demetri Martin, Imelda Staunton, Emile Hirsh
Directed by Ang Lee

Rating: Just in time for back-to-school, these three films feel like they were made by students for students — sort of like those bygone After School Specials.

Reviews about reviews of films about films being filmed

“Politi-flix” received a tip that its film critic, Doug Young, was seen recently in various art house movie theaters throughout Denver. Our sources in fact saw him as he entered the Landmark’s Esquire and Chez Artiste theaters to catch some obscure offering about some esoteric topic. We were unable to verify if he purchased any treats from the concession stand as our cameras were not allowed inside.

H2O / (C6H10O5)n + CH3CO

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

An animated film starring the voices of Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Simon Pegg, Queen Latifah, Denis Leary; Directed by Calos Saldanha and Mike Thurmeier

Rating: Kids are being blinded by non-science.