‘Hummers’ pokes fun at majority Republicans in House

Annual spoof lets Dems tease GOP colleagues
The Colorado Statesman

First-time majority House Republicans this week got a strong taste of what life is really like for the majority — getting skewered by the House Democrats in the annual end-of-session Hummers, the traditional spoof by members of the minority party during the last days of the legislative session.

Majority Leader Amy Stephens and state Rep. Mark Waller, both Colorado Springs Republicans, roar with laughter during the Hummers, an annual collection of skits and songs presented by minority Democrats in House chambers.
Photo by Ernest Luning/The Colorado Statesman
State Reps. Mark Ferrandino and Joe Miklosi, both Denver Democrats, dance while Rep. Crisanta Duran, D-Denver, does her best Madonna and Stephens impersonation with a rendering of “Tea Party Girl” during the Hummers.
Photo by Ernest Luning/The Colorado Statesman
Minority Leader Sal Pace, D-Pueblo, presides over the Hummers as Speaker Frank McNulty dressed as Elvis.
Photo by Ernest Luning/The Colorado Statesman
Rep. Rhonda Fields, D-Denver, Jeanne Labuda, D-Denver, and Sue Schafer, D-Wheat Ridge, play The Supremes, the jury in The Court of Public Opinion during Monday’s Hummers.
Photo by Ernest Luning/The Colorado Statesman
State Rep. Mark Ferrandino, D-Denver, tosses money into the crowd in a spoof of majority Republicans in House chambers.
Photo by Ernest Luning/The Colorado Statesman
State Rep. Cherylin Peniston, D-Westminster, brandishes her weapons portraying a springtime bear hunter.
Photo by Jody Hope Strogoff/The Colorado Statesman
State Rep. Joe Miklosi, D-Denver, portrays beleagured (and battered) Rep. David Balmer, R-Centennial,
in a skit about yet another redistricting map.
Photo by Jody Hope Strogoff/The Colorado Statesman
State Rep. John Soper, D-Westminster, observes the show from the sidelines dressed as a beer bottle.
Photo by Ernest Luning/The Colorado Statesman
State Reps. Dan Pabon and Daniel Kagan, both Denver Democrats, serenade Majority Leader Amy Stephens, R-Colorado Springs.
Photo by Ernest Luning/The Colorado Statesman
Democrats bearing nametags of Republicans set out on a tragic cruise with the Titanic in the background.
Photo by Ernest Luning/The Colorado Statesman

Monday’s show, held on the House floor, featured Democrats poking fun at the House Republican leadership, but with plenty of digs at other members of the caucus.

Last year’s Hummers was a bipartisan affair, held outside the Capitol and which included skits from both sides of the aisle. With a thin one-vote majority, however, Republicans weren’t going to get that kind of pass this year.

The show, entitled “Two Blocks off Broadway,” featured songs shamelessly borrowed from Broadway musicals and other popular tunes.

Rep. Dan Kagan, D-Cherry Hills Village, began the first skit with an updated version of “Modern Major-General,” from Pirates of Penzance, entitled “The Very Model of a Modern House Majority.”

We are the very model of a modern House Majority
Cutting taxes for the wealthy is our top priority
Amy Stephens and her girls: a Tea party sorority
But Frank McNulty has the gall to question her authority

The skits included Rep. Dan Pabon, D-Denver, as his congressional redistricting committee colleague Rep. David Balmer, R-Centennial. “Balmer” presented his redistricting maps in suffocating detail, including where the Safeways are in the district, that the Denver Dumb Friends League is a community of interest and that he could see Russia from his house, comments that brought down the House.

We’re very well acquainted too with matters hypocritical
Everything that we do down here is strictly apolitical
Scripture tells us not to judge or be too analytical
So every Democratic bill they bring is swiftly killable

The new Republican members of the Joint Budget Committee took hits for their vote early in the session to block funding for a school breakfast program; Rep. Mark Waller, R-Colorado Springs, was kidded for his voice, which sometimes gets loud and a tad high-pitched when he’s debating; efforts by Rep. Larry Liston, R-Colorado Springs, to pass bills on beer, and several skits mentioned Democrats’ desires to convince Rep. Tom Massey,
R-Poncha Springs, to vote with Democrats or even come over to their side.

You silly Democrats, all your bills are dying something tragic
PLEASE BE QUIET MEMBERS, Paul Brown is hunting wabbits
We’re running out of breath up here, maybe we should take the stairs
And if you’ve got a Democratic sponsor, straight to State Affairs!

A bill on bear-hunting by Rep. J. Paul Brown, R-Ignacio, was the basis for a slightly off-color skit from Reps. Mark Ferrandino, D-Denver, and Andy Kerr, D-Lakewood, where they portrayed two gay men who discussed bear hunting and civil unions.

We love killing bills so much, sometimes we commit a blunder
Sorry Rep Ramirez, there’s the bus you got thrown under
We are sick and tired of your Democratic Dirty Deeds
You know it’s not Amy’s fault she couldn’t count to Thirty-Three

Rep. Frank McNulty, R-Highlands Ranch, went from Speaker of the House to “King Frank” in one skit, and got a Frank Sinatra-style “tribute” from Rep. Roger Wilson, D-Glenwood Springs, playing Rep. Robert Ramirez, R-Westminster, who sang “I Voted Frank’s Way.”

We’re sorry about Amy’s hair, we try hard to keep her classy
And if Frank keeps it up, we’ll all be praising Speaker Massey
We’re crushing every bill brought forward by the House Minority
We are the very model of a Modern House Majority

Despite the fact that the Senate worked through Hummers, several members of the Senate snuck over to watch the skits. Hummers ended with a chorus line of Democrats, wearing top-hats decorated with tea bags, which found their way onto some of their Republican targets.

Marianne@coloradostatesman.com

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